The anatomy of a democracy...

It was a very lazy sunday afternoon and I was staring blankly into my laptop. Like every other day I wondered what I was exactly doing with my life. I could even have rephrased and asked what I was doing in my life, to my life or for my life. They all made sense. Now suddenly, I have a feeling that this is not exclusive to me. It is a question every youthful brain asks its heart. Its never the other way round. The heart which has that priviledge is blessed and need not ask for anything more.

You can call the relation between the heart and the brain - democracy. Here everyone has a say in everyone elses matters. The parties partaking in the debate understand each other well but not too well. That causes a turmoil as to whether the heart and brain really know what they are doing. Its funny but thats how all democracies work. I wonder why that is still the best form of government.

Education, social acceptance, 6-salaries, and family (which includes pets :)) all are the fore-runners in the party called Brain. Arts, dreams, love and friends rule the party called Heart. The Heart party always talks about the feel good factor but loses out on the socially accepted scale of success. The Brain party keeps trying to stress on what is right and wrong. Sometimes they know that they can never exist alone, but sometimes they know that if the other did not exist they could have achieved so much more.

The Brain party still wishes that if they had their way they could have achieved that coveted post in the IT firm that the neighbouring government won, they could have settled sooner and brought so much more respect by deciding to take up the job against the advice of friends who were backed up by the Heart party. The Heart party still broods over the fact that they missed that chance to make a mark in the dramatics class had there been no interference from the Brain-backed school lectures. They still blame the Brain for missing the rock concert which would have lead to so many new contacts which they were necessary to boost their chance in the next band competition.

Well, it is not really only about the lazy sunday afternoon or about thebrain or theheart. Its not really about democracy. Its really about what decision we finally take. Its time the President stands up and controls the governing. Its time we awaken President Soul who lies in the background of every action. He lies in our sub-conscious memory and is the one who really must have the veto-power. Democracy is insufficient for the body. It must be a President-intervened Democracy. A form of governement only the body can understand. The form of democracy that makes us academicians by day and rockstars by night. It makes us managers by day and fathers by night. Sons by day and lovers by night.

It was never really about the lazy sunday afternoon. It was about what governing we must nurture to lead a life of contenment and happiness. The only motivation to awaken your soul and follow your dreams but within limits of humanity and within limits of day and night. This is not the end, it was always going to be only the first step forever.

Drowning

Where am I? Do u see my hand?
This turn was not even in my plan
I try to swim even if I cant
Drowning slowly into nothing

I set out in search of everything
That would explain the place that I'm in
I try to smile even if its grim
Set out for oblivion

Talk to me watch me - I'm falling for it again
See me through, walk with me before I drown again
Do u see me drown? Do u see me fall?
Do u not ever want to hold my hand?

Do u see the end? Do u hear the angels call?
Do u feel the way I feel in this land?

Can you see me bob? Do u even hear my voice?
I feel so deaf amongst this silent noise
I play along like a boy without his toys
Feeling nothing underneath!

I can walk on without this misery
Without a name as silent as can be
But when I feel the pain - let me scream
No one ever knows my name

Talk to me watch me - I'm falling for it again
See me through, walk with me before I drown again
Do u see me drown? Do u see me fall?
Do u not ever want to hold my hand?

Do u see the end? Do u hear the angels call?
Do u feel the way I feel in this land?


- With a lot of inspiration from Chirag with his brilliant chords

Change is permanent... like our dreams

Every step we take in time takes us so far. It takes us away from our past, our memories, our nightmares and ofcourse, our friends. We think the steps are small enough not to care about what we are leaving behind. But all of a sudden we realise that there is a such a huge void created between us and our past that nothing seems the same. We wonder if we just long-jumped over an abyss whose mouth is just getting wider. Now we have come too far to even wonder if there is a way back.

Small insignificant jokes one day make us laugh for hours on end. Memories of small meetings, outings and nights we never slept haunt us like a dream of the previous life. Longing forever, something we left back like a child who forgot his favourite toy when he saw a new one. Only that the toy he lost, was lost forever. Songs we played become anthems forever. Everything we took for granted suddenly become so important and significant.

Somethng about the movie 'The descent' scared the hell out of me. It was a horror story no doubt, of a group of friends going deeper and deeper into a cave and not being able to find a way back. To add to their misery they are haunted by creatures who hunt them for food. Those creatures were once human beings, who adapted to the caves and became cannibals. What scared me though was that it was so synonymous to our own life. Everytime they went further down I felt the suffocation. This I realised could be a subconscious sympathy that I felt for them. Its how we end up leading our lives. A descent into a cave that has no way to go back. A place where man eats man and you cant help but become part of them or perish. I know I have digressed beyond any reader's patience but I still think it was slightly relevent. We realise that things were so holy and innocent when we were just a year younger. You wonder if the world has any good place at all.

I was speaking to 2 of my friends the other day. All three of us now in different continents. We were reminiscing the moments we spent together at the top of tank onthe terrace and played our guitars all night long. Just lying on the back watching the stars and nothing came in between to break the harmony. We all know that we would give our life to spend another night on that terrace. We all know that there are new buildings to be built near that building which would change everything. Its nothing but a terrace with a view. It was nothing but the only free space we got. It is now a place we long for just for one more time.

Everything changes. Buildings change. Life changes. We have walked too far. When we get back we would walk over a huge vacuum. When we get back we would be different in all respects. We would be changed men who have learnt too much for their own peace. Yet we still long for those few moments.

Yet we dream...