The rude awakening

I spent a sleepless night
woken by a noisy siren
awoken from my thoughts
with broken memories

After all that ive been through
I start to speak my language
and that silly siren
just got me lost again

There were million different thoughts and a hundred million more
but nothing could get close
to what I thought before... before the sirens blew


Ive not know before
what u meant in those dreams
I have never seen someone
like the way you showed

And if it was really you
I want to see you now
and while I was awoken
from that real dream

There were million different dreams that i have seen before
but this one was the first
and I wanted so much more... before the sirens blew


And now its really cold the night had felt so warm
I knew there was someone
and it was u I know somehow... before the sirens blew

and come back in my dreams
like you had done before... before the sirens blew

silent eyes, patient ears

imagine there were no means to talk
would we have loved each other more
imagine that we never wrote
just imagine what we would do

imagine no lightbulbs to see
the light was you and the light was me
imagine no electricity
how warm we would have been before


And all the time you were away
the things id need to tell you ever
would have been stored right in my heart
and unfurled to you like an endless flag

no need for words and ears to be
no need for things and eyes to see
imagine what would life have been
if you were that and this was me

Tech-knowledge-me

It passes through you - it passes through me

They call it modern technology

No love for you or love for me

How strange can the future be

Dont be afraid to push the switch

Its a domino before you twitch

I like it here I like it now

Oh someone please stop time somehow

The second sun that rose

And my eyes they close in wonder
At the bright green light - that flash before my eyes
In its beautiful surrender
I gave up all that - I am made up of

So i fall onto my knees upon the floor
And I worship what I see right before
Its the second chance in life - the second sun that rose

My life has been a journey
And Ive walked every step - and turned every stone
With all I knew and all I learnt
And made my way through - right through the clifftop

I look upon the valley deep
That lies before my sight - to tell me im still alive
when I think of what Im about to do
I could rant rave and cry - and watch my life go by


So I fall onto my knees upon the ground
And listen to my lonely stifling sound
Its the second sound of truth - the second sun that rose


Ive dodged all my blues and missed your smile
Since Ive loved you more its been a while
I havent proved myself of worth
I cannot stand the mounting truth

So I fall upon the mercies thrown at me
And there is still a life that I can see
A second lease of life - the second sun that rose

So I ask for a chance before I go
I ask myself to lend me more
I ask for the second sun that rose

The endless journey by the sea...

And I see the land again
Between the curtain of clouds
I heave a sigh, lit out my smoke
As a layer of warmth enshrouds

The misty columns on the waves
Now touch the roof of clouds
And the lighthouse tries to shout
Where its light is housed

I welcome this break, I need to stop
But I know that I must go on
No time stop, no time to ponder
And enjoy this beautiful sight

This journey has been endless
With a ship so full of weight
A floatsam I have left behind
And the journey gets delayed...

A little white lie

Every cloud has a silver lining - and I have you
Not everything I try to say - could be true
But when I see those beautiful eyes
The sky would fall on me if I lie
'cause I love you

I've lied to my teachers in school - I remember
I've lied about homework and results too - I can tell you
But when I see you smile like that
I get tongue-tied and I just gag
'cause I love you

I've told umpteen stories to my friends - they would tell you
I've hidden from them and ducked at sight - Wasnt scared too
But what I say to you from my heart
When I say that I love you
I really love you

Please believe me
Dont hesitate to clarify
Please listen to me
'cause just now I have realised

That I have something more to say - do you hear me
It is something thats close to me - can you feel me
That I can think of no life today
Without you on my side since that lovely day
that I loved you!

Swept away today

(Dedicated to the friend I wont see again. Perhaps he can see everyone else!)

so much for dreams
so much for time
so much for every step we take

so much life
so much for after
so much for every rule we make

you can hail and life your life
you can take the world on ur side
and one day when its all decided
ull be just swept away

so much notes
so much for words
so much for the songs we sing

so much for rhythms
so much for tunes
so much for suspneded chords we played

you can talk and sing away
you can only try to make it big
and one day when its all that matters
ull be just swept away


nothing can stop the world from moving
nothing can stop the time that ticks
but when we remember the good old time
we cannot forget the people who made it

you can always fly away
you can look down and see
and one day while we were praying
ull be swept away

Welcome to Chicago...

Buildings are fighting to grow
and outgrow each other in a row
And hooters jump out of the boxes
and all this while all the jazz still flows

Walking along the riverside
bending right under the rail guides
Whispering tenderness in each other
holding each other by the side


Welcome to the wonders... welcome to the downtown
where the music is soft and spirits so high
Welcome to chicago!


Talking in gibberish with steel frames
singing to the visitors that came
Staring in the faces of the skylines
wearing the perfume of fame


Asking yourself if u love her
telling yourself just to tell her
And while u make your way into
the evening smell you'll be together

Welcome to the fortunes... welcome to the rich
where the music is soft and the spirits so high
Welcome to chicago...

Why my life is a blur in all good ways and some bad ways...

Life is in different forms for everyone. For me life is in the form of a blur where no plans are effective and no decisions for the future are post-dated for more than few weeks. But the entire thing is like a dream sequence, where everything has no logical but only obvious connections. At least thats how my dreams are.

Every period in life is like a separate episode. Like short stories from a huge compilation. Some are happy, some sad, and some just plain vague. Every three months feels like a new dream. Every new song seems like a de ja vu from the past. Nothing seems like it is happening right now. It all looks as if everything is done, and I am just doing the thing which I was supposed to do, with the reason and logic I have developed, by experiencing, touching and feeling.

Its all good, as long as I am aware of it. But it all turns out bad when people fail to realise the same. It is weird to tell people that thats how it was meant to be and that whatever I would have done, or whatever decision I would have taken, things would have turned out exactly that way. That is exactly why things should be taken care of themselves, while only interim decisions must be made by you. The decisions should not be based on what is right from the societal point of view, but what is right from the point of view of the issue.

Everything is a different episode and judgements are not based on what has been experienced in a different episode. The murderer in the first short story might be the hero in the next. That is what the circumstances do to him, and his decisions were different. That doesn't make him good or bad. That only makes us judgemental and little more clouded by our pre conceived notions. That is why con men succeed, that is why we fail, and that is the only reason we believe in the decisions made by the others.

My life is blur. But I enjoy it because I know that any other way would have given rise to the same outcomes. This is what I did based on my decisions. This is what is me. Every episode must be me, because that is the only thing that exists. That is when everything become me, and I become everything. That is the easiest way to realise oneself.

It might not make sense at this point of time, but it will to everyone some day.

The Wish

The endless road of trodden feet
In valleys of autumn mountains steep
The smell of soil and grass so sweet
Where the body, mind and soul they meet

The endless road of an endless tale
of deepest waters and mountains scaled
Of the stories of the leaves so frail
of musty rocks and mossy dales

And while I wished that you could be
In place of the waters with ears so keen
Listening closely like a girl in her teen
To the love I profess so pure and clean

And while I wish with what wishes can do
yet hope and pray for it to be true
and while the depth of the lakes inhaled
a sigh of piety for you exhaled

A little sun rises again

A little sun rose from the direction of dawn
a little light shone and brought me to light
a little dream grew inside of my mind
a little hope born that I would find

Many aeons to go before I am right
many steps needed before I succeed
many thoughts present Im better off without
many years lived and gained all this might

Hope and forgive Im still trying hard
hope and forgive my only hope
hope and forgive I still learnt to give
hope and forgive lots more Ill learn

Brilliance in deed and brilliance in kind
brilliance in shape and brilliance in shine
brilliance in song and brilliance in write
brilliance in wrong and brilliance in right

A little sun rose from the direction of dawn
a little light thrown on where it goes
a little need for it to fret or fume
a little chance at all of losing its noon

Vande Mataram!

So what did you do today?

So did you curse the Airport Authorities today? Or did you look out of the Cool Cab which does not remotely describe anything cool or a cab and wonder what you are doing here? Did you look at yourself at the muck the rain has caused with its 4 feet form and wondered if it is still a land of civilization? Did you haggle with the cab-driver and in frustration, pay him 50 bucks more? Did you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder why you ever came back?

Did you look in the morning papers and curse the government? Did you turn to page 3 and curse the pictures of wannabes? Did you curse the Indian cricket team for failing to beat Bangladesh at the World Cup? Did you curse the economy for everything that has gone wrong with the country? Did you shut the newspaper in anger out of the realization that this is the country where you were born?

Did you take your dog out for a walk and curse the fact that there was no place to walk amongst the parked cars and dirt? Did you feel so ‘yuck’ when you saw a group of stray dogs feeding on some unrecognisable thing which they apparently found tasty? Did you curse the rickshaw driver for splashing water on you?

Did you feel that the sooner you left the country the better off you would be?

But what did you do?

Did you ever try to understand how the government works?

Did you ever take active interest in the Social Group in the neighbourhood that was trying to clean up the place?

Did you ever try to understand how the Indian economy works?

Did you ever try to understand how even with this population, everyone still has some kind of identity?

Did you ever try to wonder about the fact that this place which you dreadfully came back to had the potential to send you off in the first place?

Did you ever write a letter to the Municipal Corporation to fill the various potholes in your neighbourhood?

Did you ever bother about how the household garbage is disposed off by the governing body? Did you even bother to clean your own house?

Did you ever try to understand Indian politics? Have you given a thought to what the politicians do other than reiterating your notions that they are corrupt?

Do you know who your Health Minister is? Do you know what the foreign policies of India are with respect to the countries want to escape to?

Did you ever wonder why only corrupt politicians come to power?

Did you vote this year?

Well if you can identify with it I believe you are an average Indian with high virtual morality but zero percent drive. That actually explains most of the things you see around you. You are part of it and have to change yourself to change the system itself.

Well, no offence, but you need to get a life!

Light Divinity

Like every other day I was playing my guitar. I love that guitar and it is magical I must say, quite literally, at hindsight. It was almost midnight when I was sitting in my balcony playing a Joe Satriani lick (or at least trying to). While I was trying the riffs, I started playing some of the notes without my knowledge. Suddenly any note I hit sounded heavenly. I did not do that deliberately, but it sounded as if those notes were ever made to be played at those times in those riffs. At first I just assumed that I was a bit tired and any music sounded good at that time of the night. But the calm chill of the air only added to the goose bumps along my spine.

All of a sudden I stopped playing my guitar as if someone held my hands and pushed them away. There was a blinding light that flashed for a few minutes and then endured. The environment became so vibrant and so energetic that I started to perspire. My hands with the ease of a maestro went to the guitar and started playing notes that I had never heard before. My fingers seemed so supple and numb that I could play anything. I was sure that these notes existed, but I had never looked at them like that before, nor played them with so much passion. It was like this guiding force in my fingers that let me play whatever that came to my mind without a moment’s thought.

I tried to peer into the light to find someone or some form. I could see none. The energy of that light was so much, that I could not even hear anything. It was like this noise that was inaudible but so loud yet comforting. It was like a dream sequence where everything that happened only felt good. I continued playing the guitar on and on still looking for some form in the source of light. By now the light had spread all around me and I could only see the light. It was like I had come so close to the sun. And suddenly I heard a voice.

It was first a low droning sound. It picked up in frequency and changed into a very sweet melodic angelic voice. The voice was singing in some strange language. I first doubted if it was Russian or French. But as the voice became clearer I realised it was only a melody without any words. It would be difficult to explain how there can be such meaningful music without the use of words. They seemed to be fitting in with what I was playing. Then I realised that it was actually following what I was playing. The sight and sound was so over whelming that I was about to break down. But the light just kept sourcing me with some energy. It was heavenly. It was as if the Lord was pleased with me and came to sing with me.

By now tears were rolling down my eyes. I could not take it anymore. I started to scream. I screamed out loud asking it to stop. I screamed out so loud that I was sure it would awaken everyone around. But I was wrong. The energy around me had enveloped everything and was binding anything I said or did. I was going crazy. It was like I was on some drug, whose effect is taking over me. I started feeling dizzy and everything around me was turning into a blur. It was all so hazy and indescribable when I passed out and fell, presumably to the floor.

Subconsciously I felt that some one was carrying me somewhere. I felt like a new born being carried to the mother – a feeling which I can never forget in my life. Some voice whispered something inaudible. I could feel someone speaking into my ears though. It was something important. It was also a lullaby I think because I went into a deep sleep after that. It was like a rest taken after a very long arduous journey. I didn’t know where I was. I knew for sure that wherever I was, I was safe and comfortable.

When I woke up next, it was around 4 AM in the morning. I was lying right next to my bed on the floor. I don’t know how I reached there. I could have not possibly slept so well on the cold floor. My guitar was lying on the floor in the balcony. I got up immediately to pick up my guitar and place it safely. It was shining for some reason. Its black sheen was brighter, and more energetic I thought. Anyway, I was glad that nothing happened to the guitar, which I decided that I must have dropped in my sleep, while playing it in the balcony.

Something dawned on me suddenly. Until yesterday, I did not own an electric guitar. It was a dream that I had seen. It was my acoustic guitar I was playing in my balcony last. How could I have been playing an electric guitar without an amp in my balcony? I was so overwhelmed by my dream that it did not occour to me that my acoustic guitar got transformed into a Stratocastor – a dream guitar. I was shocked, dazed and literally trembling in fear. What had happened in the night? I ran outside the room to check where I was. Everything was the same. My parents room empty as they had left it 3 days ago when they left for a holiday. The kitchen lights still on as I had left them. My laptop power discharged and shut down.

I sat there trying to find composure. Trying to relax and concentrate to think of what had happened in the night. I could not think of anything. Just then I started humming a tune. The words were so meaningful and clear and with some message. It was a song that I had heard, but I didn’t know where. It was something that really never existed I think, as far as I knew.

‘Take my hand while you are lost

There is no way I will let you down

Before you lay your lost cause

But there is still a long way now

Fear not what lies within your reach

Fear not what lies beyond

Fear only all the forces in you

And all the fears you found

Listen to me Oh wandering one

There is no way you can turn back

And while you ponder o’er what I say

Walk on before it is dark

Fear not the chance of being hurt

Fear not just being defied

Fear only the thoughts that pull you down

And the reasons you never tried

And as I whisper a secret to you

I wish you may never forget

Fear only what blinded you

Not what your ambition sets’

Those were the words whispered to me last night. I was stunned. I took a paper and pen and wrote down the words immediately. I still had no explanation for what happened that night and what entailed after that.

My friend called me later that day and said that he was leaving the town in a few days, since he got the job he always wanted. He had an amp which he had never used and wanted to give it away. Without a second thought I arranged a meeting with him to take it from him. Throughout the day I could only see signs. Things that pointed to me what I should do and where I should go. One such notable sign pointed out that I must go to a particular coffee house that evening. Not knowing what to expect, I just sat there sipping on a coffee, when a group of guys entered the place. Behind them followed a very old friend of mine. It was his band he was with. They were looking for a guitarist cum vocalist for their band, since their lead guitarist was about to leave the band. They had a gig at hand, and they did not know what to do. I immediately offered my services. As time went by I had more and more influence on the band and the music we made. I even got them to rename the band from ‘Scalpels Forensic’ to ‘Light Divinity’. We are a very successful band now and have released an album called ‘Fear’ recently.

That was the least I could do to thank the light that saved me. It was something that changed my life. It was something that would remain in my heart forever as a pure experience of bliss. If someone asked me how would it be in heaven, you know that my answer would be – ‘Very bright!’

The last lullaby

Over the horizon there lies a little place
a place of refuge for everyone
no one ventures in their weary days
though they know thats where it ends

Under the sea far down below earth
theres lies a place for everyone
never swam so deep, never lurked
but they know thats where peace is lent

Come now see this, I dont know where its gone
but then i know its somewhere we oughtta go
till i wake up dont shake me of this dream
i just want to know whats in store


Over the hills hidden right behind
lurks the danger of unending sleep
never knew that it could be so kind
where the neverending bridge bends

Out in the open away from the sight
there is a place next to the sun
where things are seamless and time seems like light
where all the saved energy is pent

Come now see this, is that a bird or a plane
yet i know that its not as obvious as it seems
dont wake me up, is this the place to be
is it what we all always see in our dreams


How do i know when i reach this place
is there a landmark i can see
is there any map you could trace
to this place where im meant to be

Right next to me, there is a little place
i step into when i know im there
when i reach the end of this chase
it lies close to me, all God sent

Come now see this i have already reached
i can see what they all meant this to be
its pretty and surrounded by magnificent sights
a place of escape an a place to flee

Come now see this, im as happy as can be
while i lay down and heave a sigh
come now talk to me, sing me a lullaby
this peace is empty when ur not here to say goodbye

While the men craved for the moon...

and why do you stop me from saying
why do you tell me to stoop
and why do you feign greatness in lack of dreams

and when was the last time you thought
the last time you felt so human
and when was the day that you thought that we could leave


time will go by and the eagles take off
and i will just sit by the curb
and as i sit down on this hazy night
i felt the air around me disturbed


and why are the men so bent upon life
why do they die just to live
and is there a life that they assumed was present at all

and where were those wise men
who taught us to live
but left to lurk in the darkness by the light of day

and while i think of the greatness in you
things should just come to a stop
and when my mind is so full of noise
why do i hear your pin drop

and while the men flew and everything drowned
there is still a light air of truth
and while the men flew and tried to reach high
they all still crave for the moon

And we're back... (from the beginning)

It has been a while since I wrote my last blog and much longer since I wrote anything about dreams. My fascination with dreams maybe comes as a part of me because I am a Pisces. All said and done its just something I do which I am not ashamed of.

We all see dreams. Some dream about their goals, some about their love and some just dream weird. We all continuously dream of achieving something or being something. Yet we undermine our dreams so much. We forget that the only thing that we really are, or what we really not are, are our dreams. It is so personal and so close to us that thats the only thing that defines our mere existence. But why do we mock dreamers? Why do we deny dreaming of something the whole day? Why do we feign greatness in not having any dreams?

I believe that only when we dream of something have we taken the first step towards fulfilling it. There is no harm in rehearsing a speech of winning an Oscar over and over again until we get convinced that that is what you want to do! There is no reason why one should not keep singing to a packed stadium of fans in ones bathroom. Just like an athlete has to convince himself first that he is going to win, everyone needs a dream to make it come true. The actual preparation comes only after the conviction to achieve the goal is pure enough.

Sure we all have our limitations. Some physical, some social and some totally personal. Yet when we dream we break the realms of reality and reach a state where everything just turns out the way we want it to. It may seem absurd, but I believe that if u dream and believe in your dream, then things do change shape to accommodate it. There is absolutely nothing impossible in this world thereafter.

So let the lights of a virtual system fall upon your minds centre stage and dance for salvation of your hopes and dreams. Go into a trance and feel the power of your mind. Let the dream begin!

The Helen of Troy

The Helen of Troy thine beauty beheld
Where men of status and valour fell
She smiled to kill and weeped to kill even more
She arose to the tolling of the bell

What doth she hath, not one could think
With her, she spring and summer brings
And when she goes what can the birds
But of cold autmn and winter sing

She is the one, when men held their breath
When natures love and nicety fell
But love for her brought the fury of thee
And the nastiness of the knell...

A beautiful mind...

He took a step, to unite his will
He walked the way to find the end
And it took all his life just to look for the thing
What he dread and what he had won

The spaces in between tried to swallow him
But he fought out his way he fulfilled his whim
There is no turning back for this warrior
He has taken his first few steps


Beware all ye mighty men!



Thousands of ideas crept into his brain
Like little spots of flame that fuelled his desire
And he would be cursed to spend his life, to fight till the end
But then he will know as the man who knew to fend


And all the people say "there is no one like him"
His mind is the great sun - the rest of them orbit him
There is no stoppng now for this collegiate
He has dropped the first ingredient


Beware all ye mighty men!

Now I'm here and then I'm there...

Every now and then we come across such huge words such as trust, commitment, love and friendship. What do we really mean by all these terms. We very so often use it with so much passion and voracity, yet when the time comes for the test we falter. We do not falter by a small step, but sometimes even give up the very basis of all our beliefs and start with an altogether new value-system.


Lets first talk about commitment. We as a culture and value-based society consider commitment as inborn and constantly try to pass on to the next generation its importance. We take it for granted that any decision is based on the belief that ultimately that is what is the holiest value to guard. Commitment in any relationship, be it family, friends, spouse, lovers or work is so important to us. The 'society' considers it a prmary requirement for the success of any transaction. We preach this with all our hearts and stare in disgust at anyone who differs in opinion. Yet we have faltered when the ultimate test was there right in our faces. Call it culture shocks or call it a blind-faith, but when we saw the Americans we slowly started 'modifying' our value system. Though I do agree that many of the changes were welcome and refreshing, one cannot deny that we faltered. We faltered to the degree that most of the things that were considered unthinkable are common place today. Changing jobs without any sense of gratitude, betraying friends and family for more personal gains, infidelity within acceptance of social norms and breaking of the Holier-than-Thou bonds of marriage have become part of our very own culture. So much so, that the much coveted teacher-student relationship in India is slwly beginning to weaken - the fault lying on both sides.


I am not here to question if the changes we have brought about to our lifestyle are for better or worse. The only point I try to make here is to question about how many times we asked ourselves the validity of the old system and new. Did we ever compare and then strike off what was wrong or redress it? Was it just blind aping or was it a well thought of change in attitude?


Well talking about commitment does make my point enough. It does show how much we compromise for comfort. Comfort not in the form of luxury, but comfort in the form of convenience. We are so used to the automated world of comforts, that our attitude has become such that we need an automatically changing value-system to take us through the path of least resistance.


After all our myopic eyes cannot see that the path of least resistance is the one favoured by destruction as well.

As I embark upon this journey...

Help me God to take a step

And to hold the helm at sea

Help me with the strength to go

And help elevate my soul

Tell my friends Im leaving now

But Ill be there wherever they go

Seek their wishes and tell me so

If you ask them, they'll tell you more

Give me spirit to rise so high

Give me breath to deeper swim

Give me might to slip from heights

Let me fall but within my might

Strength to endure the weather of time

Love to ensure to shield from crime

Stamina to endure what seems so wrong

Courage to see those wrong as right

Help me break inhibitions in me

Help me see what I could do

And as I embark on this journey new

Help me God to think of you.