Why my life is a blur in all good ways and some bad ways...

Life is in different forms for everyone. For me life is in the form of a blur where no plans are effective and no decisions for the future are post-dated for more than few weeks. But the entire thing is like a dream sequence, where everything has no logical but only obvious connections. At least thats how my dreams are.

Every period in life is like a separate episode. Like short stories from a huge compilation. Some are happy, some sad, and some just plain vague. Every three months feels like a new dream. Every new song seems like a de ja vu from the past. Nothing seems like it is happening right now. It all looks as if everything is done, and I am just doing the thing which I was supposed to do, with the reason and logic I have developed, by experiencing, touching and feeling.

Its all good, as long as I am aware of it. But it all turns out bad when people fail to realise the same. It is weird to tell people that thats how it was meant to be and that whatever I would have done, or whatever decision I would have taken, things would have turned out exactly that way. That is exactly why things should be taken care of themselves, while only interim decisions must be made by you. The decisions should not be based on what is right from the societal point of view, but what is right from the point of view of the issue.

Everything is a different episode and judgements are not based on what has been experienced in a different episode. The murderer in the first short story might be the hero in the next. That is what the circumstances do to him, and his decisions were different. That doesn't make him good or bad. That only makes us judgemental and little more clouded by our pre conceived notions. That is why con men succeed, that is why we fail, and that is the only reason we believe in the decisions made by the others.

My life is blur. But I enjoy it because I know that any other way would have given rise to the same outcomes. This is what I did based on my decisions. This is what is me. Every episode must be me, because that is the only thing that exists. That is when everything become me, and I become everything. That is the easiest way to realise oneself.

It might not make sense at this point of time, but it will to everyone some day.