The Pretend Fair!

Will you come with me to the pretend fair today
Where the horses are pink and blue and stray
And all that lies in my fantasy
Are ready to dish and serve out in a tray

The gatekeeper laughs and counts me in
and the jokers they cry all day
and it seems like there's nothing wrong with me
Its all just part of this day

How funny this brain it pretends to be
It divulges only what I ever want to see
And the pretend fair is just a reflection of mind
like a cow that jumped over the tree

Will you come to the -  pretend fair with me
I'll show how fantasies and dreams could play
and all that is counted as dusted and done
are just all alive and tad happy and gay

I'll show you the mount which talks about dreams
and I'll show you the river that talks in a funny way
I'll show you the forest that goes spooky at nights
and pretends to be friendly by day

I'll show you the rocks that gleam in the sun
and moan in darkness by night
I'll show you how the little lark that calls
and shrills away into the horizon of light

Will you come today to the pretend fair with me
where the nights are as lively as day
And when you're alone with not even a stone
you can just with the air around play

The fairies they call for those who lost all hope
and the pipers they call for the lost
and the creepers they creep and into rocks seep
and the light just melts away frost

No man would venture here without an escort
It can have its own mighty perils you know
But a dream is a dream that only can be seen
and when its done you are just shown the door

Will you come and search for the pretend fair with me
I search and i search in a haze
and that's when my mum throws at the best of her aims
a pale full of water in place!

Happy Independence Day! and all that Jazz...

Before we get into anything else... Wish you a very happy independent life ahead in a very independent democratic country!

So whats it like to be free? Do what your heart says, do what you think is right within moral agreements and have the power to exercise your rights in matters that affect you directly. Thats what most freedom fighter wanted, and thats what we want today. I think we are all on the same page till here.

What of course changed from then till now is the context. What the heart said then was different from what it says now. What were moral agreements then, are very different from now. And the meaning of exercising ones rights have different connotations every single time. So how do we say that we are free?

Lets just think about this for a moment. Those who fought for freedom wanted a country free from being dependant on a set of people to exercise ones rights. Are we there yet? Does giving a bribe to a cop, or for a gas connection or for a driving license count as freedom? No it does not. But back then someone had their rules here. Now there are rules, but we are 'free' to break the laws. We dont like 'rules'. We didnt like the British 'rule' and now we dont like Government 'rules'.

We talk about morals and how 'moral policing' should stop. But for whom? For people who are ready to pay for things if they can avoid standing in a line? You can blame the ones on the other side for taking it, but didnt you give them the bad habit? You want the PM to be in the Lokpal Bill so that you can catch his collar, since in the guise of crores of rupees dealt with in one scam, we can camouflage the zillion petty scams we are involved in day-in and day-out. So yes, morals have changed. We get angry with Pramod Muthalik for policing the wrong things, but we are happy that such people exist, since the pay-off is that no one will question you for the 100 bucks you paid the cop for not wearing a helmet (for your own safety!!)

That leaves us with what our heart says. I leave that to you. But with the background I have shown you, you might want to re-think where your integrity lies. Its easy to have candle-light marches and facebook campaigns. But is there anyone going to the places that need to be cleaned up?

This Independence Day, change the way you look at things. Dont blame everything on others so that you can justify yourself. Change the way you look at how your country works. Change the way you live.

Jai Hind!

6701

once upon a time i took a little trip

where no paths tread and no one went

with friends i love and dreams anew

where time on worries were never spent

we took our old and brought in new

memories refreshed and moments dwelled

we thought that life could never end

like an endless rhythm in an endless song

we laughed and sang and called out to skies

in little joys we spent the oceanful of dreams

once upon time i took a little trip

in alleys dark and hours wee

with friends who knew me better than me

and allies strong and alliances steep

the moments spent still dance away

like the dazzle of a technicolour dream

Redefining the value chain...

No, I am not talking about a project that is to kick off soon, neither am I talking about any aspect of a supply chain. I am talking about the chain of values that follow each other in a 'politically correct' and a 'morally correct' society. Yes, since the Shree Ram Sene has become synonymous to the word 'moral', I am also going to talk about that.

I happened to come across Amit Verma's latest blog, on the comments of Pramod Muthalik reported by the Hindu. He compares these comments to those made by the "Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice" in Saudi Arabia. I do agree with him to an extent, but then I just want to explore a few more thoughts before I jump to any conclusion. Let me make it clear though at this point, I am not pro-beating-up-women-for-going-to-the-pub, and am not a follower of any moral policing, in fact I was as disgusted by those acts as much as most other Indians.

We as a society, by and large are prone to bigotry especially when it comes to morals. When it happens to society, we hold idealistic views, whereas when it happens to us its something 'personal'. It comes so naturally to us (this bigotry), that it is a given that everyone would behave that way. Not bothering to check your children's habits, you may talk about how a random neighbour's son was seen smoking, holding hands with a girl or just hanging about on a random day loitering around doing nothing. Not really worried if your own daughter listens to you, you would talk to a random person about how some other random persons daughter is a rebel and does not listen to a word of her parents. But we do it with an air of condescension and pseudo-sympathy which we think justifies the hypocrisy. One of my very good friends, who I always consider rational and practical, told me that if her friend plans to marry someone out of her community and thinks its right, then she would support her, but if it was her sister, she would not allow that to happen at all! (This was the same bigotry but reversed, but bigotry nevertheless) It was an eye-opener. If I could not understand the rationale, at least it was practical.

What about politics? I have always believed that we are big hypocrites even when it comes to politicians. We have never tried to find out real facts, about India's foreign policy, trade policies, or even the Nuclear policies, though we have mastered the art of criticising them (unless of course we are directly involved in a business that is affected). You may say, that an average Indian is still well-informed about most of the policies, but how many of us actually bother to understand what is happening? I agree politicians may be corrupt, and that to enter Mantralaya your clout needs to start with the clerks. I also agree that our governing methods are as transparent as air. You know there is something in theory, but do not know what its actually made of right now. All this said, even good moves by politicians and any progress made by them is looked at skeptically. I know that its not unwarranted considering the murky pasts and blatantly immoral (again... refer the para upstairs) present. But do we use the rationale we are supposed to use, to evaluate every act and proposition by the value it delivers, or do we just consider anything done by politicians suspicious?

This takes me to the point I wanted to make. Considering the moral values our society holds, the older generation (meaning our parents, uncles & aunts) are not so convinced about the way of life in the modern society. Going to pubs or bars are frowned upon even at homes. A girls dressing style is also a matter of debate in most households. If the same thoughts were to be echoed by some political group (sans the beating up women part, which I reiterate is the lowest form of moral governance), would we be ready to challenge them with same respect and sensibility as we would do at home? I agree that the ideology of Muthalik is quite distorted. But what he stated in that Hindu article, would be agreeable to any parent, uncle, aunt, grandad or grandma. Do we send a Pink-Chaddi ONLY to Muthalik because we think we can get away with it?

These comments Muthalik made perhaps we could look at with some revolt thanks to his history. But in general, are we ready to hear about 'morals' (moral bigotry: Para 1) from 'politicians' (political hypocrisy: Para 2) or do we assume it has to do something with the sadistic ways of politics, and ignore the essence of what could be echoed even at home!

Randomisation in process...

Since the latest fad, thanks to facebook, is to write down 25 random things about your life, I started thinking about what I would write down. Randomness cannot be tabulated, counted or even pointed at. It ceases to be random in that case. Anything written down is not random. 

Perhaps the irony of being random lies mainly in the fact that we try to label everything. If you go to see every decision we make is based on 'random' incidents beyond our discernable or distinguishable intellect. So every step we take (not every move we make!) and every moment we live is random in its own way! Not getting too philosphical, I shall now list some absolutely random things about myself.

Every time I step into a room, hall, stage or any enclosed space, I step in with my left foot first! (dont ask me why). I secretively follow numerology. I sometimes have no clue about what I am going to write, but try to make sense of it later. Syd Barret is my favourite musician, whatever other people may think about his music. I have a soft-corner for women with beautiful voices. My favourite random number to choose in any number game is 15 or 23. I would not mind being a house-husband as a full-time occupation. I am prejudiced against Britney Spears, Jagjit Singh and R & B. I am biased towards Ram Gopal Verma, AR Rahman and Pink Floyd. I get spaced out very often between conversations. I day dream 12 hrs a day. I dream 8 hrs in the night. I am eating for the rest of the time :). I have lost count of how many things I have post poned in life. I started playing the bass guitar because there was no one else to play it. My schooldays were my favourite days. I love to write poetry about nature especially if I can link it to very basic needs of humans. I started writing poetry by chance. I truly live for the moment, because I havent a clue what I am going to do next. I irritate people by being overtly patient. I follow rules, as long as there is some leverage to 'customise' them! I dont hate anyone, I only have a list for 'like' and 'dont care'. I miss my dog. I have lost count of the number of things I have written here. Go watch Dev D.

So thats how random I can get. It could have been worse, but once written as I said, it would not be that random anymore.

Anyway!

luv & luck

The Quarter-life Life...

After much debate of calling it a euphoria, I would call the mid-twenties a life lived in quarter of the time. Not that the 'quarter-life crisis' is a false notion. But it is just incomplete.

Everything seems weird atop here. All that we have valued at the beginning of the second decade of our lives are questioned every minute - for the better. Peer pressure seems to be more in terms of meaningful things rather than stupid things. Exercise, jobs and a steady partner become the major fads. Some of the youthfulness takes over us once in a while and we become younger than we would have imagined, with the maturity and attitude of much elder person.

Suddenly what your mother told you when you were 18 makes sense. Your father seems to have done at least some things right in his life - both in terms of his living as well as bringing you up. You try to live up to the expectations of younger ones to lead a path of being free, but automatically tune yourself to be responsible enough to show them the flip-side of everything. In fact the flip-side takes priority in every reasoning.

Fashion is very important, but sensibility is the ruler. Like pain and anguish try to thrive in every aspect of your ethical dilemma, genuine happiness is something which has started showing up during every moment of times you do something to be happy. Parties with more than 5 people may seem crowded and flippant conversations are enjoyable for only an hour. Mostly every conversation must have a reference to your job, life, society and love. This might have been things you spoke about earlier, but now you are just too adamant about what is right even if it is against every thought in that room. Acceptability is preferential and more righteous.

You want to be at the top pf the world, but at the same time don't want to miss out on the very few moments left of complete independence from responsibility. Pay checks are as important as spending valuable time with family and developments in your career are as significant as the new found relations with your peers, family and friends.

Its dynamic, youthful, sensible yet confusing while transitioning in all aspects of life, during this life led at quarter-life!

And we're back...

Its been long since I posted something here. Really long. A good friend of mine forwarded a very well written, thought-provoking and introspective write-up about being in the mid-twenties. It was very true for most of its part. But somehow I just felt that I had learnt some more things which would be a great addition to what was written. Something I felt will actually make you feel good about it too! 

So that all this rambling doesn't spoil of undisturbed reading, I've posted it on the next one.

So by the way... Hello again!

And the day has come... yet again...

(Disclaimer: You may find it odd at the end of the article, that me sitting in UK am writing such a blog. But however hypocritical it may seem to you (if it does), I mean it completely and my future intentions are clear to me. You have the choice to read further or ignore it completely - I would respect your intellectual capacity to have done the right thing.)

Its 15th August again... The day we Indians refer to as Independence day. In those good old days 61 years ago, they won their independence from the 'evil' British government. In their fight to rule themselves, they figured out a lot of other things. They saw revolutionaries, they saw pacifists, they saw martyrs and they saw negotiators. They saw men who fought till their death, they saw the test of endurance and justice. They saw the light of eternal glory in the form of one tenacious achievement.

We must learn from their stories. We must look up to the incidents as a rule book, and not forget it the day after our history exam. We must adopt the theories they defended and died for. Be it be the non-violent movement of Mahatma Gandhi or the revolutionary impactful methods of Bhagat Singh, the political methods of Netaji Bose or the intellectual warfare of the great Gurudev Tagore and Mahakavi Bharati. In fact the fight for Indian Independaence was like a textbook of philosophies. Unlike other revolutions which were merely based on brute force and might, the Indian Independence was full of character and stories. Like any epic stories like the Mahabharata, the Indian Independence story is full of lessons to be tapped and used in our day to day life.

But who were these freedom fighters? Where were they born? What made them so different? What food did they eat or which water did they drink? A question which we can answer so logically, yet give so many metaphors. They were people who learnt their purpose. The people who understood that it takes immense courage to stand up against what they think was going wrong and spoeak up. They were those who sacrificed their comforts and took up social deeds. They were people who started their revolution in small ways made a difference. They were people who did NOT question the purpose of fighting for the right cause, and did NOT look for any personal returns. It was every Indian, every Pakistani, every Bangladeshi, every Nepali and every Burmese. They were common men like you and me. They were university students, professionals, doctors, engineers, lawyers and politicians. They were people who also had personal commitments, financial problems, domestic problems and thier own means of livelihood.

If they could rise together when time came, why cant that be learnt as a lesson and be used in our daily life. Why cant we bother to give back something to our country. Why cant we bother to vote for a leader and take some responsibility. If we talk about bad politicians, why cant we take their place instead? Why cant we clean our own roads off all the dirt and grime - figuratively and literally. Why do we still blame each other for the bad and fight for the good name in things that have turned out well. Why cant we as a country with so much youth do something to change the country?

Is it difficult to make changes in your own profession, field of study or daily life for making the nation better. If you think the country does not deserve that, well think again. You are right now in a position to read this on you personal computer, with the means of communication, means of subsistence to afford it and an intellect from the education it has provided to you. It deserves better.

There is no point just knowing the national anthem and the pledge. There is no point in just cheering for India during cricket. This is an appeal to pledge to do atleast one significant thing for your country in your whole life. A pledge to treat everyday as a day of emergency and work towards saving its integrity. A pledge to aspire to act than just to speak.

On this note... I shall leave you to your thoughts and your country!

Jai Hind

The rude awakening

I spent a sleepless night
woken by a noisy siren
awoken from my thoughts
with broken memories

After all that ive been through
I start to speak my language
and that silly siren
just got me lost again

There were million different thoughts and a hundred million more
but nothing could get close
to what I thought before... before the sirens blew


Ive not know before
what u meant in those dreams
I have never seen someone
like the way you showed

And if it was really you
I want to see you now
and while I was awoken
from that real dream

There were million different dreams that i have seen before
but this one was the first
and I wanted so much more... before the sirens blew


And now its really cold the night had felt so warm
I knew there was someone
and it was u I know somehow... before the sirens blew

and come back in my dreams
like you had done before... before the sirens blew

silent eyes, patient ears

imagine there were no means to talk
would we have loved each other more
imagine that we never wrote
just imagine what we would do

imagine no lightbulbs to see
the light was you and the light was me
imagine no electricity
how warm we would have been before


And all the time you were away
the things id need to tell you ever
would have been stored right in my heart
and unfurled to you like an endless flag

no need for words and ears to be
no need for things and eyes to see
imagine what would life have been
if you were that and this was me

Tech-knowledge-me

It passes through you - it passes through me

They call it modern technology

No love for you or love for me

How strange can the future be

Dont be afraid to push the switch

Its a domino before you twitch

I like it here I like it now

Oh someone please stop time somehow

The second sun that rose

And my eyes they close in wonder
At the bright green light - that flash before my eyes
In its beautiful surrender
I gave up all that - I am made up of

So i fall onto my knees upon the floor
And I worship what I see right before
Its the second chance in life - the second sun that rose

My life has been a journey
And Ive walked every step - and turned every stone
With all I knew and all I learnt
And made my way through - right through the clifftop

I look upon the valley deep
That lies before my sight - to tell me im still alive
when I think of what Im about to do
I could rant rave and cry - and watch my life go by


So I fall onto my knees upon the ground
And listen to my lonely stifling sound
Its the second sound of truth - the second sun that rose


Ive dodged all my blues and missed your smile
Since Ive loved you more its been a while
I havent proved myself of worth
I cannot stand the mounting truth

So I fall upon the mercies thrown at me
And there is still a life that I can see
A second lease of life - the second sun that rose

So I ask for a chance before I go
I ask myself to lend me more
I ask for the second sun that rose

The endless journey by the sea...

And I see the land again
Between the curtain of clouds
I heave a sigh, lit out my smoke
As a layer of warmth enshrouds

The misty columns on the waves
Now touch the roof of clouds
And the lighthouse tries to shout
Where its light is housed

I welcome this break, I need to stop
But I know that I must go on
No time stop, no time to ponder
And enjoy this beautiful sight

This journey has been endless
With a ship so full of weight
A floatsam I have left behind
And the journey gets delayed...

A little white lie

Every cloud has a silver lining - and I have you
Not everything I try to say - could be true
But when I see those beautiful eyes
The sky would fall on me if I lie
'cause I love you

I've lied to my teachers in school - I remember
I've lied about homework and results too - I can tell you
But when I see you smile like that
I get tongue-tied and I just gag
'cause I love you

I've told umpteen stories to my friends - they would tell you
I've hidden from them and ducked at sight - Wasnt scared too
But what I say to you from my heart
When I say that I love you
I really love you

Please believe me
Dont hesitate to clarify
Please listen to me
'cause just now I have realised

That I have something more to say - do you hear me
It is something thats close to me - can you feel me
That I can think of no life today
Without you on my side since that lovely day
that I loved you!

Swept away today

(Dedicated to the friend I wont see again. Perhaps he can see everyone else!)

so much for dreams
so much for time
so much for every step we take

so much life
so much for after
so much for every rule we make

you can hail and life your life
you can take the world on ur side
and one day when its all decided
ull be just swept away

so much notes
so much for words
so much for the songs we sing

so much for rhythms
so much for tunes
so much for suspneded chords we played

you can talk and sing away
you can only try to make it big
and one day when its all that matters
ull be just swept away


nothing can stop the world from moving
nothing can stop the time that ticks
but when we remember the good old time
we cannot forget the people who made it

you can always fly away
you can look down and see
and one day while we were praying
ull be swept away

Welcome to Chicago...

Buildings are fighting to grow
and outgrow each other in a row
And hooters jump out of the boxes
and all this while all the jazz still flows

Walking along the riverside
bending right under the rail guides
Whispering tenderness in each other
holding each other by the side


Welcome to the wonders... welcome to the downtown
where the music is soft and spirits so high
Welcome to chicago!


Talking in gibberish with steel frames
singing to the visitors that came
Staring in the faces of the skylines
wearing the perfume of fame


Asking yourself if u love her
telling yourself just to tell her
And while u make your way into
the evening smell you'll be together

Welcome to the fortunes... welcome to the rich
where the music is soft and the spirits so high
Welcome to chicago...

Why my life is a blur in all good ways and some bad ways...

Life is in different forms for everyone. For me life is in the form of a blur where no plans are effective and no decisions for the future are post-dated for more than few weeks. But the entire thing is like a dream sequence, where everything has no logical but only obvious connections. At least thats how my dreams are.

Every period in life is like a separate episode. Like short stories from a huge compilation. Some are happy, some sad, and some just plain vague. Every three months feels like a new dream. Every new song seems like a de ja vu from the past. Nothing seems like it is happening right now. It all looks as if everything is done, and I am just doing the thing which I was supposed to do, with the reason and logic I have developed, by experiencing, touching and feeling.

Its all good, as long as I am aware of it. But it all turns out bad when people fail to realise the same. It is weird to tell people that thats how it was meant to be and that whatever I would have done, or whatever decision I would have taken, things would have turned out exactly that way. That is exactly why things should be taken care of themselves, while only interim decisions must be made by you. The decisions should not be based on what is right from the societal point of view, but what is right from the point of view of the issue.

Everything is a different episode and judgements are not based on what has been experienced in a different episode. The murderer in the first short story might be the hero in the next. That is what the circumstances do to him, and his decisions were different. That doesn't make him good or bad. That only makes us judgemental and little more clouded by our pre conceived notions. That is why con men succeed, that is why we fail, and that is the only reason we believe in the decisions made by the others.

My life is blur. But I enjoy it because I know that any other way would have given rise to the same outcomes. This is what I did based on my decisions. This is what is me. Every episode must be me, because that is the only thing that exists. That is when everything become me, and I become everything. That is the easiest way to realise oneself.

It might not make sense at this point of time, but it will to everyone some day.

The Wish

The endless road of trodden feet
In valleys of autumn mountains steep
The smell of soil and grass so sweet
Where the body, mind and soul they meet

The endless road of an endless tale
of deepest waters and mountains scaled
Of the stories of the leaves so frail
of musty rocks and mossy dales

And while I wished that you could be
In place of the waters with ears so keen
Listening closely like a girl in her teen
To the love I profess so pure and clean

And while I wish with what wishes can do
yet hope and pray for it to be true
and while the depth of the lakes inhaled
a sigh of piety for you exhaled

A little sun rises again

A little sun rose from the direction of dawn
a little light shone and brought me to light
a little dream grew inside of my mind
a little hope born that I would find

Many aeons to go before I am right
many steps needed before I succeed
many thoughts present Im better off without
many years lived and gained all this might

Hope and forgive Im still trying hard
hope and forgive my only hope
hope and forgive I still learnt to give
hope and forgive lots more Ill learn

Brilliance in deed and brilliance in kind
brilliance in shape and brilliance in shine
brilliance in song and brilliance in write
brilliance in wrong and brilliance in right

A little sun rose from the direction of dawn
a little light thrown on where it goes
a little need for it to fret or fume
a little chance at all of losing its noon

Vande Mataram!

So what did you do today?

So did you curse the Airport Authorities today? Or did you look out of the Cool Cab which does not remotely describe anything cool or a cab and wonder what you are doing here? Did you look at yourself at the muck the rain has caused with its 4 feet form and wondered if it is still a land of civilization? Did you haggle with the cab-driver and in frustration, pay him 50 bucks more? Did you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder why you ever came back?

Did you look in the morning papers and curse the government? Did you turn to page 3 and curse the pictures of wannabes? Did you curse the Indian cricket team for failing to beat Bangladesh at the World Cup? Did you curse the economy for everything that has gone wrong with the country? Did you shut the newspaper in anger out of the realization that this is the country where you were born?

Did you take your dog out for a walk and curse the fact that there was no place to walk amongst the parked cars and dirt? Did you feel so ‘yuck’ when you saw a group of stray dogs feeding on some unrecognisable thing which they apparently found tasty? Did you curse the rickshaw driver for splashing water on you?

Did you feel that the sooner you left the country the better off you would be?

But what did you do?

Did you ever try to understand how the government works?

Did you ever take active interest in the Social Group in the neighbourhood that was trying to clean up the place?

Did you ever try to understand how the Indian economy works?

Did you ever try to understand how even with this population, everyone still has some kind of identity?

Did you ever try to wonder about the fact that this place which you dreadfully came back to had the potential to send you off in the first place?

Did you ever write a letter to the Municipal Corporation to fill the various potholes in your neighbourhood?

Did you ever bother about how the household garbage is disposed off by the governing body? Did you even bother to clean your own house?

Did you ever try to understand Indian politics? Have you given a thought to what the politicians do other than reiterating your notions that they are corrupt?

Do you know who your Health Minister is? Do you know what the foreign policies of India are with respect to the countries want to escape to?

Did you ever wonder why only corrupt politicians come to power?

Did you vote this year?

Well if you can identify with it I believe you are an average Indian with high virtual morality but zero percent drive. That actually explains most of the things you see around you. You are part of it and have to change yourself to change the system itself.

Well, no offence, but you need to get a life!